Post by ladyblade on Apr 19, 2007 13:00:09 GMT -5
Not sure if this should go here or in the marriage forum but here it goes. My DH and I have been having problems. In fact I don't think we have not not had problems since we got married. There are many factors but what has us plagued right now is that I gave him my word about something and I purposely broke it--which is something I never do. The situation is not a big deal to me but I can see why he is upset about it. Over the years I have kept in contact with an ex-boyfriend of mine. My first boyfriend. I believe that I still have warm feelings for him but not enough to pursue, even when I was single.
I hadn't been in contact with him since 1997 when I got married in 2002 and didn't begin contact again until 2004 when things got really bad in my marriage and I was headed for divorce. I did not turn to the ex for support or anything, we talked about other things but I never mentioned my marriage, its state of dissension or anything really personal other than my child (Savannah was obviously not around then).
When I left my job in 2005 to relocate for my DH's job (we had reconciled by November 2004) I terminated contact with the ex just by simply not writing to him anymore. He's a busy guy anyway so I didn't think it would matter much.
Well now that we are here in Central California, I am bored out of my mind and far away from family and friends. I started reaching out on message boards to females only though because I don't want a guy getting the wrong impression. However about a week ago I began contact with my ex again. Even after my DH found out and asked me to promise not to contact him again, I did. There is nothing sexual going on it's just a connection that I have with him that I don't have with my DH. If my DH were more expressive with his feelings and didn't make me feel like we were roommates rather than husband and wife I don't think I would feel this way.
The ex is just being a friend and I have purposefully steered clear of conversation starters that may open up old doors (on my end only because he's been nothing but a friend). It's just a platonic but satisfying relationship I have with him. Then DH just found out again of course and is upset more with the fact that I lied to him and broke my word rather than the actual act of talking to the ex (or so he says). I guess my prayer request is that I find a solution to this mess. I don't want to give up my friend but I don't want my DH to be hurt either. Things in our marriage can be described as rocky at best--even before the ex issue. I don't know what to do.
I hadn't been in contact with him since 1997 when I got married in 2002 and didn't begin contact again until 2004 when things got really bad in my marriage and I was headed for divorce. I did not turn to the ex for support or anything, we talked about other things but I never mentioned my marriage, its state of dissension or anything really personal other than my child (Savannah was obviously not around then).
When I left my job in 2005 to relocate for my DH's job (we had reconciled by November 2004) I terminated contact with the ex just by simply not writing to him anymore. He's a busy guy anyway so I didn't think it would matter much.
Well now that we are here in Central California, I am bored out of my mind and far away from family and friends. I started reaching out on message boards to females only though because I don't want a guy getting the wrong impression. However about a week ago I began contact with my ex again. Even after my DH found out and asked me to promise not to contact him again, I did. There is nothing sexual going on it's just a connection that I have with him that I don't have with my DH. If my DH were more expressive with his feelings and didn't make me feel like we were roommates rather than husband and wife I don't think I would feel this way.
The ex is just being a friend and I have purposefully steered clear of conversation starters that may open up old doors (on my end only because he's been nothing but a friend). It's just a platonic but satisfying relationship I have with him. Then DH just found out again of course and is upset more with the fact that I lied to him and broke my word rather than the actual act of talking to the ex (or so he says). I guess my prayer request is that I find a solution to this mess. I don't want to give up my friend but I don't want my DH to be hurt either. Things in our marriage can be described as rocky at best--even before the ex issue. I don't know what to do.
I'll definitely be 
for you all, and especially you to help you go in the direction you need
